Well I actually have a wee bit of news. My mother had her second knee surgery last week. She’d had her left knee done about a year ago and last week had her right knee replaced with a brand spankin’ new titanium one!!! YAY!!!!
She got back home on Monday morning, where she proceeded to try to call me about 300 times in an hour. (It’s not as though she’s ALONE in her house!!! My father IS there!) In anycase, the three hundred calls were to ‘inform’ me that she was at home. She’s a super funny lady!
This knee-surgery time around, my mother had the brilliant idea to rent herself an hospital bed for her ‘recovery’ period. (seriously? sometimes you just have to suck it up … ya know?) Apparently last time around she had a lot of difficulty sleeping. (I suspect it was from the pain rather than the lack of comfort sleeping in her own bed, but that’s probably my cynical side coming out.) In anycase, she’s firmly ensconced in her hospital bed throne, phone scepter in hand and nearly
regal bitchy attitude perfected. Gods I love that woman!!! (and that is NOT meant facetiously)
I spent a few hours with her today. Made her lunch. Headed into work.
So … on the heels of that fine story … here’s a bit of humor for the day.
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.”
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ” Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ” his response — click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!” (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada ?”
I said, ”No.”
She said, ”But they look so close on the map.” (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’ he replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight … I think that’s very rude!”
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?”
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Alabama who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”
11. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .” I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”
”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”
The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
I don’t write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure,
you just gotta spread it around.
ஜ~§Quote Of The Day§~ஜ
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
– Thomas Fuller
ஜ~§The Question Of The Day§~ஜ
RIP John Hughes. In honor of the master of the teen movie, what is your favorite teen flick?
ஜ~§The Word Of The Day§~ஜ
noun: A scrap of food left after a meal.
Of Germanic origin, ultimately from the Indo-European roots ud- (out) and ed- (to eat).
“On the table in front of him was a plate, a few orts of supper nosed round by a pair of cats.”
ஜ~§Poem Of The Day§~ஜ
Old fathers, great-grandfathers,
Rise as kindred should.
If ever lover’s loneliness
Came where you stood,
Pray that Heaven protect us
That protect your blood.
The mountain throws a shadow,
Thin is the moon’s horn;
What did we remember
Under the ragged thorn?
Dread has followed longing,
And our hearts are torn.
ஜ~§Recipe Of The Day§~ஜ
1 canned chipotle chile in adobo plus 1 teaspoon adobo sauce (see Ingredient Note)
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 cup orange juice
3 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon red-wine vinegar
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
8 ounces pork tenderloin (see Kitchen Tip), trimmed of fat
1. Combine chipotle and sauce, garlic, orange juice, lime juice, vinegar, oregano, cumin, salt and pepper in a blender or mini food processor; blend or process until the chipotle is chopped and the mixture is relatively smooth. Pour into a sealable plastic bag, add pork and seal, squeezing out any excess air from the bag. Turn to coat with the marinade. Refrigerate at least 1 hour and up to 8 hours.
2. Preheat grill to high or heat a large indoor grill pan over high heat. Remove the pork from the marinade (discard marinade). Grill the pork, turning occasionally, until an instant-read thermometer inserted diagonally into the center of the meat registers 145° F, 12 to 15 minutes. Transfer the pork to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes before slicing.
TIP: Ingredient Note: Chipotle chiles in adobo sauce are smoked jalapenos packed in a flavorful sauce. Find them with Mexican foods in large supermarkets.
Kitchen Tip: One pork tenderloin typically weighs about 1 pound, enough for 4 servings. You can marinate a whole pound in the same amount of marinade used to marinate the 8 ounces in this recipe and have enough cooked tenderloin for 2 dinners (for 2 people). Or freeze half for up to 3 months.
MAKE AHEAD TIP: Marinate the pork in the refrigerator for up to 8 hours.