I Will Survive on Wine and Roses


Now … I don’t profess to be as profound or as potentially prolific as JD Salinger who wrote ‘Nine Stories’ but I have six little ditties here for your enjoyment today … (and actually I didn’t even write them.)

How do these people  survive?

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu  that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half  dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’  I replied. ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply. ‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’ ‘That’s right.’ So I shook my head and ordered six  McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true…)

TWO
I  was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash  register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get  mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked  up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she  could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do  you know how much this is?’ I said to her ‘I’ve changed my  mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’ She said ‘OK,’ and I  paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had  just happened.

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her  floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired  as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was  using the ATM ‘thingy.’ (keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady  weeping beside her car. ‘Do you
need some help?’ I asked. She  replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they  (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’ ‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I  asked. ‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it  and the car keys to me.  As I took the key and manually  unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and  check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’ PLEASE just lay down before you  hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.  One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m  almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from  the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern  took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the  photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies. Brunette, by  the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher  if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had  eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl  and he should be fine, the mother says,  ‘I just gave him some ant  killer…..Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

Oh dear … I was just laughing and laughing at these.  Unbelievably funny stuff that!

I was really exhausted driving to work last night, and throughout the night could NOT find my second wind!  I did not go to the gym this morning because of that.  I needed sleep … good deep ‘lock the dogs up and put in the earplugs’ sleep!  (I’m writing this at 3am and using past tense as it will be long past that before you all read this, so I’ll let you know how the whole sleep thing went at a later date!)

Tomorrow is my niece’s birthday party … and as per usual I’m completely flat broke.  I’m supposed to be getting a monetary certificate at work, as I was recognized for my absolute genius. 

Actually … I was recognized for my ability to conjure the patience of JOB (Job is the guy from the bible and is not used like ‘I’ve got a job’ It’s pronounced J-OH-b) while helping this woman out that has absolutely no clue how to do her job after 10 years of working it!  Seriously … that’s my biggest pet peeve about Unions … and another story all together … moving on. 

I’m supposed to get this Amex gift check, which I was hoping to use to get my niece a b-day prezzie, but I don’t think I’m going to get it in time.  If I don’t … I’m just going to tell the family that I was unable to get out … or I was asleep longer than I had intended to be  or something … and bring a gift by at a later date!

(I’d like to thank the academy for recognizing genius when they see it, thank you!)

Since TV is picking up … I think I’ll include a brief  What I’m Watching and What I’m Reading statement on each post, if anyone’s interested in discussing television or the book I’m reading they can let me know. 

Last night was Criminal Minds, Human Target, Psych, Modern Family and Ugly Betty (so sad UB is cancelled).  Currently I’m reading Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind.  (Legend of the Seeker series is based off these novels)

Now … on with the rest …

~§Quote Of The Day§~

“It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.”

J.D. Salinger

~§The Question Of The Day§~

What is your top-ten song list? What was it when you were a kid? Is there any overlap?

~§The Word Of The Day§~

Interdict

PRONUNCIATION:
(noun: IN-tuhr-dikt, verb: in-tuhr-DIKT) 

MEANING:
noun: A prohibition, especially a formal one, as by a court, church, etc.
verb tr.: To prohibit or stop.

ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin interdictum (prohibition), from interdicere (to prohibit), from dicere (to speak). Ultimately from the Indo-European root deik- (to show, to pronounce solemnly) that is also the source of other words such as judge, verdict, vendetta, revenge, indicate, dictate, and paradigm.

~§Poem Of The Day§~

The Rose Family

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the ap
ple’s a rose,
And the pear is, and so’s
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose –
But were always a rose.

Robert Frost

ஜ~§Recipe Of The Day§~ஜ

Cod With Tomato Cream Sauce

Ingredients
1-1 1/4 pounds Pacific cod (see Note) or tilapia fillets, cut into 4 pieces
3 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme, divided
1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 shallot, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup white wine
1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes
1/4 cup heavy cream or half-and-half
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch

Preparation
Season fish with 1 teaspoon thyme, 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add shallot, garlic and 1 teaspoon thyme; cook, stirring, until beginning to soften, about 1 minute. Add wine, tomatoes and the fish to the pan; bring to a simmer. Cover and cook until the fish is cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes.

Transfer the fish to a large plate; keep warm.

Whisk cream and cornstarch in a small bowl. Add to the pan, along with the remaining 1 teaspoon thyme and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Divide the fish and sauce among 4 shallow bowls.

Tips & Notes
Ingredient note: Pacific cod, aka Alaska cod, is sustainably fished and has a larger, more stable population, according to Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch (seafoodwatch.org).

Brightest blessings,

Surry

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